Making friends as an introvert in Paris
Updated 10 November 2026
Most friendship advice is written by people for whom talking is free. Put yourself out there, start conversations, approach strangers. If that were free for you, you would not be reading this page.
The good news is that being introverted does not stop you making friends. It only changes which formats work. An introvert in the right room does better than an extrovert in the wrong one.
This comes from two years of hosting events in Paris, where a lot of people write to us beforehand to say they are nervous about coming.
The format is the problem, not your personality
A packed Friday bar, a party where everyone already knows each other, a networking afterwork: all three require you to impose yourself. You have to interrupt a group, talk over noise and justify being there. Anyone loses energy doing that, and a shy person loses three times more.
Change the room and most of the problem goes away. What to look for: a small group, a clear reason to be there, and somebody whose job is to welcome you.
- Twenty to forty people, not two hundred.
- A host who is there all evening and introduces people to each other.
- A venue where you can talk without raising your voice.
- A shared activity or pretext, so you never have to open a conversation from nothing.
The lowest energy formats
From easiest to most demanding if you are reserved:
- Something with your hands or your body: pottery, cooking, climbing, running. You do not have to produce conversation, it arrives between two movements.
- A fixed volunteering slot. The task sits in the foreground and the talking happens around it.
- A multi week class. You are not meeting thirty strangers, you are seeing the same eight people again.
- A hosted event with a small group. More demanding, and the fastest: you talk to five or six people in one evening.
Prepare the first three minutes, not the whole night
The uncomfortable part is short. Once you are inside a conversation your body settles. So plan those three minutes and nothing else.
Arrive in the first fifteen minutes, when there are still five people in the room. Joining a group of five is easy, walking into a room of forty is painful. Order a drink, and let the host introduce you.
- How long have you been in Paris?
- Do you know anyone here tonight?
- Which part of town are you in?
- Is this your first time here too?
Rules that change everything for a reserved person
Commit to one hour and give yourself permission to leave after it. Knowing you can go removes half the dread, and in practice you usually stay longer.
Aim for one good conversation, not ten. One person you click with and message the next day beats an evening spent circulating.
And come alone rather than with a friend. As a pair you form a closed unit and nobody approaches you. That is the most common trap.
How many nights before it changes
Count on three evenings over two months at the same place. On the second you recognise faces. On the third people recognise you, and that is when they start suggesting things.
The first time is always the hardest. That is not a sign the format is wrong for you, it is just the first time.
Frequently asked questions
How do I make friends as an introvert in Paris?
Choose formats that do not require imposing yourself: a weekly activity with the same people, or a hosted event where someone makes the introductions. Repetition replaces boldness.
Should I bring a friend if I am shy?
Come alone, even though it sounds harder. A pair reads as a closed group that others will not interrupt, and you spend the evening with the person you already knew.
What do I say when I do not know what to say?
A simple question about the context is enough: how long have you been in Paris, do you know anyone here, is this your first time. Nobody expects an opening line, only a way in.
Can an introvert really meet people at a social event?
Yes, if the room stays small and you can hear each other. Aim for one good conversation per evening and message that person the next day.
Our Paris afterworks are built for exactly this: a host who greets you at the door, a room where you can hear each other, and a majority of people who came alone and were just as nervous walking in.
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